Tuesday, January 19, 2010

The real problem with Wing Chun, and the solütion

Long and heartrending are the lamentations about the sorry state and fractured nature of Wing Chun. The reasons given are many, but the solutions proposed few and sorry.

Wing Chun needs a tougher image. The pathetic adherence to antedeluvian cultural associations and wishy-washy attempts to make it into some new age pussified version of the already pussified internal martial arts and Buddhist traditions have got us nowhere. The New Age is over, and as The Clash predicted, nobody escaped, especially Wing Chun.

A tougher image. We need a quantum leap into gnarliness and sheer psychic terror. We need ...

The heavy metal umlaut. What got Motörhead charging like a nitro-injected road missile.

Wing Chün. Yes, Wing Chün.

As David St. Hubbins of Spinal Tap said. "It's like a pair of eyes. You're looking at the umlaut, and it's looking at you."

You want gravitas? Depth? Try the Abyss. As Nietsche said. "Gaze into the Abyss for long enough, the Abyss gazes back at you." The Abyss. Depth up to here (or actually, down to There). Same thing with the umlaut. Two eyes, wormholes into the depths of the Abyss. Get some of THAT Godless rocket fuel into your Wing Chün and scare the crap out of those keyboard warriors.

Nietsche spoiled that by prefacing it with "Take care when fighting monsters, that you do not become a monster." Screw Nietsche. You can bet he never won a challenge match or fought MMA. Wing Chün is screaming out like a damned soul for a few real monsters.

I sort of get the WT guys were trying to do when they changed to Wing Tsun, but they missed the point totally. In Germany, of all places, where Nietsche and the two eyes of the umlaut were staring them in the face. A HUGE opportunity missed. The Gracies would have run from Emin had he used the umlaut, that I can guarantee. Unless the Gracies started doing Jiü Jitsu, that is (only one umlaut; two shows a certain desperation).

The pain you endure to include the umlaut in your KFO posts will make you stronger.

Are you going to remain a loser, or will you start practising Wing Chün instead?

Note to fanboys: Yes, I know Spinal Tap is properly spelt with no dot on the i and an umlaut over the n. If you can work out how to do that inside a KFO post, your HTML-fu is stronger than mine, and I will duly grovel at your cyberfeet for the chance to learn from the master.