Tuesday, October 31, 2017

Chrome Dome HOWTO

For those so good looking their face is taking over the rest of their head.

Patrick Stewart

Maynard James Keenan
Credit: Rolling Stone - Paul Bergen/Redferns/Getty

Some other dude
Courtesy: Stuart Nairne

I've been shaving my head for about ten years. With my father and grandfather both slapheads before their fifties, it was pretty much preordained at a cellular level. I knew what was coming and prepared myself well ahead of time. "Accept yourself" and "tell the truth" are powerful statements to live by.

The benefits of going bald

I didn't want the John Howard style hubcap, 

John Howard

let alone the Skullet.

Might be time to accept, change it up and grow old disgracefully, Lars

And definitely no rugs or hair transplants. Andre Agassi has some awful stories to tell about that in his book. 

The thought of a hairpiece coming off while training Jiu Jitsu, and the inevitable unsympathetic reactions of my training partners, was a nightmare situation not to be countenanced. I would deserve derision. Totally.

Once the number three haircut at the barber was no longer cutting it (no pun intended), I knew the time had come ...

I started using the cheap disposable blade razors, and bought a barber-style electric razor and took it all off during one Christmas break.

Both tools took surprisingly long to finish the job if I did it myself, and made it hard to get one hundred per cent right. 

I'd often ends up with bits missing - or rather, not missing - unless I went to the trouble of using a hand mirror to see the back of my head in the wall mirror, which is challenging if you are also trying to wield a razor. 

It also usually took at least five minutes. A bit longer if I was more than usually concerned about leaving the house looking intellectually capable of grooming myself.

I avoided the cut-throat razor lest it live up to its name.


 Vincent van Gogh was not good with cutthroat razors. Image from Wikipedia

It was too easy to nick myself with the disposable blades, and I'd too often have to stop mid-roll at Jiu Jitsu to stop a bleeding shaving cut with tissue or toilet paper Norman Gunston style. 

The purpose made blades for shaving the head might work, but I'm too cheap and fearful for that.

The barber type electric razor was less risky, but quite heavy and slow to use. I also had trouble negotiating it around my ears and the bumpier parts of my skull.

Not my preferred options

Aldi, which, as some of you know, is my favourite supermarket by far, were having a sale and I decided to take a punt on a cheap ($29.95), triple head rotary, chargeable, electric razor. If it didn't work for my head, it would still work for my face, hopefully.

This turned out to be an excellent decision. I could get my entire skull, face and neck down past the T shirt line done in less than two minutes. Zero scratching or irritation, and effortless coverage of the spots the other tools couldn't reach without determined effort.

The price point turned out to be a little low - the light indicating charging, and fully charged, when the shaver was docked in its charger, stopped working after a couple of days. It continued to charge and work OK after that for maybe a couple of weeks until ...

I knocked it off the bathroom counter onto the tile floor. And it shaved no more.

You can see now why the cutthroat razor would not have suited Mr Clumsy here.

The Aldi shaver was a Special Buy ... and of course they had sold out on the day. NO!

I replaced it with a similar unit from Woolworths, which cost about ten dollars more, and had to be plugged into the wall. It's not a cordless phone and I don't don't have much call to wander around the house or the backyard while shaving as a rule, so this didn't bother me that much. Fewer pieces and moving parts is always a plus.


Once you accept the chrome dome lifestyle, and find a workable solution, life becomes simple. Low maintenance, cheap.

If the aerodynamics and other worthy attributes of this non-hairstyle appeal, or if like me, your choices were limited, hopefully this information will prove useful to you.

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